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Thank u, Next. Getting Over An Ex

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Nov. 7 2018, Published 7:17 p.m. ET

A break up is one of the most difficult things to deal with, no matter what way it ends it’s always going to be hard. Some are worse than others and if it’s your first heart break it’s going to take a long time to be fully able to move forward. Some relationships can end mutually and others end in heartbreak but it’s important to remember that every relationship will teach you something and you can learn and grow from it.

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Speaking from personal experience there are different stages of a break up. For me it was initially sadness, the over whelming feeling of losing the most important person in your life. That stage lasted for a week maybe, I’d cry at just about everything and indulge in sad songs and movies, as cliché as that might sound I feel like everyone needs to go through this stage. After a week or two I gradually began to feel a bit better, I wasn’t constantly sad, I wanted to hang out with my friends and I wasn’t thinking of my ex every second of the day. This stage lasted a couple of weeks and I remember thinking I’m going to be okay, I’m on the right track. Then maybe a month or two after there were two weeks where I felt unbelievably sad again. For me I think that was because I felt that my ex was moving on and living his life happily without me and that hurts, as much as you want them to be happy it’s difficult to accept that their new happiness doesn’t necessarily involve you. I kept thinking about my ex during these few weeks, it was like my mind didn’t want me to move on, I’d keep missing him but would have to remind myself it was for the best. That’s something important to remember, breakups don’t happen for no reason, there was some reason it wasn’t working, whether you want to accept that or not.

After my few delayed weeks of sadness I got back on the track of being ok, it’s strange one day you wake up and your not as sad and you don’t miss that person as much. You start to learn how to live without them, and yes you will get days where your sad and you want to be with them and that’s perfectly fine. A breakup is really hard and your not going to get over it as quickly as you might want to. People will tell you that you need to move on and start dating and you absolutely don’t have to until your ready, I know I’m still not ready and I don’t know when I will be but I’m not rushing. The most important and most cliché thing here is that the only thing that will help you to move forward is time, as they say time heals all wounds and it’s true. It might not feel like it now if your just coming out of a relationship but believe me it will most definitely get better.

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