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‘Marriage and Monogamy Is Steeped In This Idea of Ownership’

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Jun. 26 2019, Updated 4:55 p.m. ET

In a Red Table Talk with Jada, Willow and Adrienne, they sat down to discuss marriage, monogamy and polyamory relationships. Willow‘s take on relationships was much more open than what her grandmother, Adrienne, was used to.

Modern day relationships are very different than they were in the past and this is something that Willow and Jada touch on. Jada says, “There’s been young people that have watched their parents get divorced, their friend’s parents get divorced, and they’re looking for an alternative.” Willow stated, “I think this is the scariest thought that people just shy away from, it’s the feeling of feeling like the person that you love is falling in love with somebody else.” Adrienne comments, “Yes! That’s scary.” Willow continues:

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“That insecurity and fear, eats us alive, but this is the thing, that insecurity and fear is something that we need to overcome. And something that we need to evolve out of. And change that, and transmute that into something new, and different that can actually be helpful and make us love more, and more freely. And monogamy, I feel, this is just personal, this is just for me, I feel, actually inhibits you from learning those skills of evolving past those feelings of insecurity.”

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“That insecurity and fear, eats us alive, but this is the thing, that insecurity and fear is something that we need to overcome. And something that we need to evolve out of. And change that, and transmute that into something new, and different that can actually be helpful and make us love more, and more freely. And monogamy, I feel, this is just personal, this is just for me, I feel, actually inhibits you from learning those skills of evolving past those feelings of insecurity.”

While Adrienne and Jada seemed to want to jump in to give Willow a different perspective, she added,

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“That feeling of, ‘you can’t do this’ and ‘if you were to do this, the world would crumble on both sides.’ and I feel like that’s just not a healthy way. There’s no freedom. It’s too fear based.”

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“That feeling of, ‘you can’t do this’ and ‘if you were to do this, the world would crumble on both sides.’ and I feel like that’s just not a healthy way. There’s no freedom. It’s too fear based.”

She goes onto explain the historical significance behind marriage, and monogamy. This is when she states that, “marriage and monogamy is steeped in this idea of ownership.” She mentions that people didn’t marry out of love but for money.

Willow‘s freedom to be able to talk to her mother and grandmother about these feelings is what makes her perspective on unconventional relationships that much more interesting. She’s on the younger spectrum of modern age relationships so her point of view is much different than a millennial’s point of view. Jada provides an open platform for Willow to get to know herself as she reassures her, “You know me, Willow, whatever makes you happy. I always tell her, never be afraid. Just know you have to live who you’re not, to know who you are.”

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