In 2018, what’s going on with heterosexual marriage and divorce? What factors play into age at marriage and how does that affect someone’s life?
It’s already known that with more education, one is to likely marry later in life, as with different factors such as where one lives, the culture they’re from and the environment that surrounds them.
However, success in career actually increases for men when they marry, and particularly at a younger age of 24-29 years old. Whereas, with women, they succeed more in their careers when they marry past 30 years old or not at all.
Here’s a comparison of success based upon education and salary versus marriage for women and men at 33-34 years old.
What’s going on here?
With more women working, they’re becoming trapped by ‘double burden’ guilt – anxious about neglecting their children and concerned that motherhood will affect their work. Whereas, married men are still more likely to benefit from marriage with increases in health, wealth and happiness – associated with the status. “Married men are better off than single men. Married women, on the other hand, are not better off than unmarried women,” Psychology Today said.
Two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women – a fact of all ages, in heterosexual marriages. Culture plays a huge part in this, with women’s expectations usually high and men’s low before marriage.
Media sources and companies usually sell to women the story of prince charming and her “one true love” that’ll sweep her off her feet, whereas they sell to men the notion that they’ll fear being ‘trapped’ and ‘lose’ their manhood when ‘tied’ to one woman.
These are old-world notions that are parallel to society’s acceptance of female versus male sexuality. Females were expected to wait until marriage to lose their virginity, and men were expected to sleep around as much as they could.
Yet, what is happening in marriage once couples are actually married?
“Women on average do more of the unpaid and undervalued work of households, they work more each day, and they are more aware of this inequality than their husbands. They are more likely to sacrifice their individual leisure and career goals for marriage,” Business Insider said.
“Marriage is a moment of subordination and women, more so than men, subordinate themselves and their careers to their relationship, their children, and the careers of their husbands.”
“Married women are less happy than single women and less happy than their husbands, they are less eager than men to marry, they’re more likely to file for divorce and, when they do, they are happier as divorcees than they were when married (the opposite is true for men) and they are more likely than men to prefer never to remarry. The only reason this is surprising is because of the torrent of propaganda we get that tells us otherwise. We are told by books, sitcoms, reality shows, and romantic comedies that single women are [dying] to get hitched,” Business Insider said.
It’s almost as if the world is trying very hard to convince women of something that isn’t necessarily true.
Yet, what would happen if women didn’t get married to men?
“Marriage reduces men’s violence and conflict in a society by giving men something to lose,” Business Insider said. “It increases men’s efforts at work, which is good for capitalists and the economy. It often leads to children, which exacerbate cycles of earning and spending, makes workers more reliable and dependent on employers, reduces mobility, and creates a next generation of workers and social security investors.” So, marriage is fantastic for the economy and capitalism.
What about wives and/or mothers?
People say that as more men do more at home by taking care of the housework and/or children, women are more likely to enjoy their marriage when their husbands take responsibility. ABC even says that the key to a good relationship is sharing the housework and parenting equally.
So, at a national divorce rate of 50%, maybe it’s time for more men to hear what their wives are saying. If more women and men share the burdens of housework, taking care of children and supporting their family together at work, they’ll probably each be much happier, healthier, and successful.