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Cuffing Season Part One: Don’t Give In… Just Yet

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Oct. 31 2018, Published 7:07 p.m. ET

It’s the end of October and as ‘spooky season’ comes to an end, we find ourselves suddenly fully immersed in cuffing season. This cultural phenomenon spans from October to March and the idea is that cold weather and holidays make people desperate for a relationship. It’s hard to deny that the season lends itself to such a concept; you have someone to bring home, someone to be intimate with through the holiday season, a date for Valentine’s Day, and before you know it you’re single again just in time for all the spring and summer flings your heart desires.

For a while I was a supporter of cuffing season and thought if people we’re mutually using one another it was no big deal, right? After watching a pretty cool lecture (7 part series) on dating and relationships, I reflected on my own approach to relationships, my own self-esteem, and my own emotional dependence. It then occurred to me that, there is absolutely no way I personally could have a fulfilling relationship  without working on myself and truly getting into a rhythm with who I am. Lame! I know, but we hear it all the time because it’s true. The older I get the more I realize I don’t know myself as well as I thought I did.

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In that lecture, what resonated with me the most is that”singleness” is a part of the dating process and an important one at that. Being single is not just a state of existence we remain in until someone comes along and takes us to the next step. It should be an active state, in which we find things we do and do not like about ourselves or the people we interact with. Time we spend really setting goals and pursuing them. And maybe even time we spend giving our lives more purpose by helping others.

Overall, I don’t want to discourage you. Go cuff! Get what you want this winter, because everyone needs some kind of loving. I just hope you’ll be more mindful about it and do yourself and others a favor before jumping into something that can set you back .

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